Perpetual Draft of my Eulogy

In the beginning it was a cell.

He started his life as a cell.

Later as he developed it was cells which were having thoughts.

You can't just have a thought without the cells.

You just happen to be a recipient of your thoughts as the world gets projected into your mind or physical brain where it resides.

(Thought is a communication sent and propagated to higher cells - neurons from cells which form our vision, touch, taste and hearing. It acts just like light because the effect is the same.

It makes the outside world clearer. We say: "Enlighten me" why?

Because we understand the deep connection between light and thought)

Yes and it is the bunch of cells which decided to multiply and voila - I am.

But really 'I am' is not quite right. 'I have been' is a better way to say.

One amazing very short English sentence describes my existence in my human form - have been.

Have been - English grammar teacher favourite riddle.

So essentially I am reading my own obituary.

Standing at the podium I wear an impeccably black suit and shoes.

Some sort of Human black hole.

My light had been completely extinguished but still remains inside the black hole which is my new form.

I know that I do not exist anymore and therefore everything seems so easy and light. 

Nothing else matters anymore.

Yes he was a 'Metallica' fan so what?

I stand at the podium. The audience is not present at the moment.

I start by making the audience relax and start with a poor attempt on a joke:

This eulogy is deeply inspired by the Mike Myers famous depiction of Dr. Evil appearance on the Jerry Springer show when he was describing his own father.

I smile and start speaking effortlessly.

He grew up in a poor Jewish family.

He had been a wonderful, kind and imaginative man.

Pretentious at times and extremely arrogant.

Unique and original just like everyone I guess.

Dismissive of any authority and suspicious and sometimes even afraid of his own shadow.

Lack of discipline and lazy mind coupled with his inability to lie, scheme and cheat his way in life made him somewhat cynical and prone to nervous breakdowns early in his life.

Indeed eventually he learned how to fool others and have the 'ice cream' to himself.

But readers stop and consider that none of that was of his own making.

It was cells which are to blame for everything that was considered to be him.

The stage was set long before he came to exist in his human form.

To his credit he did suspect that something was not right from the moment his conscious mind lit the path in front of him.

His mind became the 'Light in Space over Darkness'.

(Don't abbreviate it.

It is a mere coincidence just like 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds'.

Yes he was a 'Beatles' fan so what?)

Anyway Einstein believed that Space and Time are interconnected.

Yes they are but only if you have the Light in this equation.

Light travelling in Space will cover some Distance and you guessed it will take some Time.

Without the presence of Light there is no Time.

Time doesn't exist. Therefore all claims that time travel is possible are nonsense.

How can one travel in something that doesn't exist?

What we all consider Count Up is actually Count Down.

We think that we are getting older and keep adding numbers to our own age but in reality it's not an addition - it's the subtraction we need to make.

Time doesn't move forward. It is a paradox.

Time is projected from the present into the past.

You know it at the end of day when you are lying in your bed.

The day is gone and it is in the past now where it will remain.

He remembered as a child watching the welder in the building opposite where he lived.

His family just moved into the new 2 bedrooms flat on the 4th floor - 2 children and 5 adults.

Electricity wasn't connected as yet and his Grandma lit the candle.

He watched with fascination how the sparks were flowing down from welding and spectacularly crushing on the footpath below.

He was 4 years old and his conscience became alive.

He suddenly knew himself, his Grandma and where he was.

He remembered this as it had happened today which proves again that the time doesn't exist.

He also remembered being really small - around 2-3 years old - sitting and drawing on the sand outside of his house with the wooden stick.

Two elderly neighbours came and were talking kindly to him - Yankel and Fanny.

They gave him candy.

But all he wanted to do is just to draw with a stick on the sand.

His dad had already died but he didn't feel it at the time.

He didn't know at the time that losing his Dad would make his path much more treacherous.

All he wanted to do is just draw the faces in the sand with his stick.

He knew his dad died even before he was told about it.

The dream was vivid and frightening as he woke up one night with tears streaming down his face.

He saw how his father's coffin was carried away by men from the second floor of their house via a narrow staircase and taken away to the cemetery.

He lied motionless in his bed with tears quickly drying on his face with his entire body and soul wrapped into deep and profound sorrow and sadness.

He went to the cemetery many times when he grew up.

The connection was very strong even though he never knew his father.

Much later in life he had another dream.

He saw His face and eyes as he looked across the street of huge office buildings above the street crowd.

Their eyes met for a minute.

It was the same sadness and sorrow in His eyes as His face faded away and disappeared in the air.

His eyes penetrated deep into the soul.

Dark deep eyes.

The thought of Him doing this to a child surprised.

Why would He want to do it to a child?

To make a child suffer and observe from the distance the effect?

If He does exist when it is not the image everyone has about the God/Creator.

At the same time He looked compassionate but unable to change anything.

His eyes were saying it all.

 

We are all – like the welding sparks falling from the top down to the ground.

It's definitely a Countdown we need to make.

It takes 8 min for Sun light to reach the Earth.

It takes roughly the same time in some cases for the human brain to die after the heart stops.

This is of course just another mere coincidence.

Where do I begin to tell my story?

Yes he was an Andy Williams fan so what?

Anyway it is a very normal story.

Yes it is a love story but not in the sense one would think it is.

You see what you think of as love is actually a very simple process.

The process devised by cells in order to survive in Space.

If you paid attention I did mention that Space and Time are interconnected.

Yes you can say then that cells devised a process (which we call love) in order to survive in Space and Time. 

Now I have really started the thinking process in you.

You think I will start talking about Creation and God.

You think that I will give you all the answers so you can just sit on your couch and casually have your ice cream.

Sorry. No.

You forgot that I merely pointed out coincidences which are part of my own eulogy. 

Ok where was I?

Yes the eulogy. Not much praise in it I guess. 

Still it is a eulogy.

Eulogy to the 'Light in Space over Darkness'.

You see our Sun emits the light which radiates in all directions.

Eventually after travelling for some time in space the light dies out. 

The good news is that the Sun keeps firing the light all the time.

So the light constantly gets replenished.

Sun really doesn't care that the light eventually dies out.

Sun produces light constantly so no need to worry.

Fire and forget.

It is a war out there.

War between Light and Darkness.

Sun has to constantly fire at its enemy Darkness.

What is important is not what happens to the light once it is released and whether it reaches its intended destination.

What is important is that the light never dies.

Stop I just said that light eventually dies out and now I am saying that light never dies?

I leave this contradiction to you to figure out. I don't have time for this.

My job is only to concentrate on eulogy.

I am not authorised to speak on behalf of the light, Sun or any other physical phenomena.

I am not a physicist or pretend to be someone I am not. 

I am who I am.

Sorry I got distracted again. Back to him.

Nothing special. An ordinary man with no particular goals.

Dominated mainly by thoughts of self gratification whether it was food, sex or just plain old 'do nothing'.

Can we really blame him?

Can you blame the grain of sand for being small and insignificant?

Can you blame the single ray of light for not reaching its destination?

Only partially I guess. The cells are the ones really to blame here. 

They have started it. He never had any say in it.

But he wasn't just an innocent party unaware of what is going on.

Yes he was taken for a ride in the beginning by his own cells.

But eventually he became aware and by virtue of this awareness he became responsible for his own journey.

What do humans do when confronted by something which seems so unfair?

The choice was his to make: Fight, Swagger or Sway?

Indeed many choose to fight and many choose to swagger.

Many men and women become angry and agitated.

They feel they need to do something.

Men grow muscles, play all kinds of sports and fight each other while women gossip and spread it around.

Sometimes the other way around.

He chose to walk away - Sway.

Yes he was a Steve Harley fan so what?

Tumbling Down.

Remember welding sparks flying down to the ground?

Walk away. The easiest choice and the hardest one to make.

Stop I am contradicting myself again?

Yes? No? Depends.

Despite being fully aware of his own destiny which was never chosen to begin with and to still carry the love which was given unconditionally in the beginning of his journey is brave. 

Yes it is brave. 

Because it requires Belief.

Belief and trust in your own higher purpose.

Despite being released into Darkness he bravely continued to his destination.

Passing through hate, greed, lies, anxieties, depression, racism, deception, corruption, defamation, envy etc.

He bravely avoided Darkness gravitational pull and continued on with his journey.

He retained all his childlike qualities and remained kind, compassionate and warm.

What I am saying?

Am I saying that the light is becoming aware of its own destination after it's released by the Sun?

Nonsense.

But why does it carry itself to the very end full of warmth and love?

I feel it when it touches my skin.

 

I have nothing else to say about him.

Standing and talking on the podium about him is tiring and selfish.

I can't do it to him. My eulogy is about him.

It is not about me.

I hope that I touched him and he feels my warmth and love.